2. Listen and let them know you care. Just be empathetic, “I am so sorry you are dealing with this.” Avoiding or always changing the subject only makes your friend feel alienated. If you know that they are cool with talking about their infertility journey, then ask them how it’s going from time to time. You aren’t asking how their sex life is going, you’re inquiring as to their emotional state and what steps they may be taking to help the process along. How are they dealing? Do they want to talk about it? If you know they had an appointment with a doctor, ask how it went. Trying a new herbal tea or acupuncture? Ask how it’s going.
3. Don’t diss on whatever treatment your friend is doing or thinking about trying. Whether it’s acupuncture, IUI, herbal supplements, IVF, injectable hormones, chiropractic, diet changes, or whatever… deciding to get help with infertility is a very personal decision for a couple and it’s never a decision come to quickly and easily. Please respect that.
4. Don’t say hurtful things. There are SO many comments that are made when people are trying to help, but these comments can cut so deep. Here are just a few of the very common phrases that are said to people dealing with infertility. Please don’t say any of these:
Don’t worry, you’re young! What does that mean?! Are you suggesting I’m not meant to have a baby now? Have I been wasting my time trying so far? Plus, if not pregnant equals young, does pregnant equal old? If I get pregnant now, I will be “advanced maternal age” and considered high risk by most OBs. How’s that for hypocrisy?!
5. Educate yourself. If you want to be SUPER supportive, pick up a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility and read up if you aren’t well versed on how amazing fertility cycles are. You can also visit FertilityFriend and read some articles on the subject. This way you know what the heck your friend is talking about when they mention progesterone, luteal phase, and strange acronyms like OPK, EWCM and FMU.