I’ve been a student of taekwondo since 2018. I started because I had some sudden, unexplained weight gain after my youngest son turned two and I needed some sort of regular exercise. My oldest son was already a student, so I started going with him to the Saturday morning family classes and found I really enjoyed them. From there, I attended more and more because I enjoyed the variety in workouts and I suddenly found myself a red belt when Covid struck. By 2021, we could train in studio again and I tested for my black belt that fall. You can read more about my TKD journey: Pre-Black Belt Test, Post-Black Belt Test, Black Belt Graduation.
This April, I competed at the Utah State Taekwondo Championship. This was my second year doing black belt poomsae (forms), and what a difference a year makes.
I take photos at a lot of our tournaments, but my oldest was able step in and get some photos of me while I competed. Thank you, Tommy!
Last year, I was nervous as hell. This year? I felt calm, decently confident... and even took on a second challenge: competing in mixed pairs with Van, a fellow AMYS parent. There aren’t many of us over 40 still throwing kicks, so that felt extra special. We learned cheonkwon, the 7th dan form, in just a week and only practiced together three times. We also had no competitors, so we refused to put a ton of pressure on ourselves. Cheonkwon was fun to learn and getting a gold medal for it was even sweeter.
Next was individual poomsae: Pyeongwon and Sipjin. I love sipjin, but pyeongwon challenges my balance and strength big time. It's both humbling and frustrating. It's frustrating to watch myself knowing I can kick higher, but then I'd be stumbling.
I had a few moments of panic right before it was time for Jessie and I to compete when I realized I was missing a step in sipjin. Jessie quickly realized what move I was skipping and I was able to get it fixed, but damn, that was scary!
Lookie how high I can kick when the pants don’t try to break me! Photo by Master Samery
I know that taekwondo uniforms look like we’re just wearing PJs, but they are NOT designed for curvy girls. The fabric is stiff and has zero stretch. Poomsae uniforms specifically are even stiffer because they are expected to make snappy noises when we do poomsae, and when I sweat, the fabric sticks to my skin. I get it, but argh!! I had to drop some money to figure out a solution that didn’t give me major sensory issues. I bought a very-overpriced undershirt from Lululemon that helped with the sweat/sticky fabric issue.
THEN I bought a whole 2nd uniform two sizes bigger so the pants had more give in the hip and thigh area. I was suffering from knee pain after workouts because when I kicked, my knees would hyperextend because there was no give in the fabric at my hips. Of course, that meant they were too long, so I had to alter them at the cuff AND make the rise shorter. They are officially the most comfortable TKD pants I’ve ever owned. Unfortunately, no one allows us to buy the top and pants in different sizes. I’m always on the lookout for discounted uniforms now.
My friend, Jessie was the only competitor in my age division and I squeaked out gold by 0.33 points. It has been wonderful training along with her these last couple months.
It's very easy for me to watch videos of poomsae athletes who are younger than me; athletes who've probably done taekwondo since they were little kids, and compare myself. But then I remember:
I started taekwondo at 39.
I've had two kids.
I'm dealing with health challenges most people never see.
I'm showing up and I'm proud of my growth. The Wise and Inspiring Mirna Valerio once said something that I often replay in my head: "You start where you start, it's gonna be a journey no matter what it is. You can't compare yourself to your former self or anybody else. You have to be in the moment, and then you move from that moment forward."
Now the big question... should I compete at USA Taekwondo Nationals?? It’ll be at the end of July and in Ontario, CA; where my sister lives. And they changed the format of poomsae competition for black belts and I won’t know what forms I’ll be competing in until MOMENTS before. Hmmm…